He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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