he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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