did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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