You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
