She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize