Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your cock deserves a montage
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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