Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish I only lived at night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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