Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
