Dual....:-)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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