k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
