is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
