I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize