She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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