look no pants
no, he came in my armpit
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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