The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
