just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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