Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize