I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
