but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Less talking, more tequila
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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