i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
look no pants
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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