I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
