you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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