its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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