I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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