Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
