I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
