He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
