too bad you live with your parents still
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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