so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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