I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
