First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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