are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
