Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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