you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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