I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
