she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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