Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
