she looked like the before picture.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
