my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
