I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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