dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize