I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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