I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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