you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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