We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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