i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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