i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
