dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I need a burrito and a hug.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
