hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
