Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my poor anus
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
