Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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