You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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