Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
