i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
