IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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