he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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