so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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